How you Can BE REAL with God

"How You Can BE REAL with God" looks into the importance of spiritual authenticity and provides actionable tips to foster a genuine relationship with God. Join us as we explore practical steps to enhance your faith journey by being true to yourself and honest in your prayers. Learn how to connect with God on a deeper level and cultivate a sincere Christian life.

Trevor H. Lund is the founder of Live LIGHT Academy at https://livelight.ca/ and the Creative Storyteller at https://revtrev.com He helps Live LOVED - Know and Enjoy Your Good Father - http://revtrev.link/LiveLOVED Check out https://revtrev.com/tv for past videos and live casts and https://revtrev.com/radio to subscribe to his podcast wherever you listen.

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Ephesians 4:14-25 MSG No prolonged infancies among us, please. We’ll not tolerate babes in the woods, small children who are easy prey for predators. God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love. And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. They’ve refused for so long to deal with God that they’ve lost touch not only with God but with reality itself. They can’t think straight anymore. Feeling no pain, they let themselves go in sexual obsession, addicted to every sort of perversion. But that’s no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.

What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretence. Tell your neighbour the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.

Can I pray?

We are continuing in our look on how to LIVE LOVED

Live LOVED

L - Leave pretence behind Psalm 62:8
O - Operate out of who God says you are Ephesians 2:10
V - Value revelation Romans 8:15-17
E - Embark on having well-healed wounds Psalm 147:3
D - Draw ever-deeper into His love Ephesians 3:14-19

The first step to Live Loved is to Leave Pretence Behind.

What do I mean by that?

The Problem

I’ve never been taught, but I’ve definitely caught and probably passed on a view that I’d call plastic Christianity.

You’ve definitely seen this. You’ve maybe even practiced it yourself.

6 Characteristics of Plastic Christianity

1. Superficiality see Mt. 15:8-9
2. Legalism see Ga. 5:4
3. Cultural Conformity seeRo. 12:2
4. Transactional Faith see Is. 29:13
5. Inauthenticity see 1Jn 1:6
6. Focus on Self not God see Ph. 2:3-4

The good news is… with any one of those characteristics the solution is confession and repentance. Confession is agreeing with God His judgment is right. Repentance is turning around and going in the opposite direction. I’ll show you how to do that in the remainder of this message.

I am all in favour of having scripture verses on our walls and around our photos. I’m not of fan of leaving it at that.

That to me is plastic Christianity. It’s when people see the show before they see the love, joy, peace, patience,kindness, goodness faithfulness gentleness and self control. It is telling people about the hope that you have before they ask the reason for the hope you have and it’s ignoring the gentleness and respect part that we should never forget.

I cannot do it for the show or do it for the dough or do it for the worry or do it for the hurry. Jesus explains all this on the sermon on the mount.

In fact I’ve learned the value of doing everything with my whole heart. My emotions, my decision and my actions need to align for me to do anything with my whole heart. We’re told to do 7 things with our whole heart

7 things we are told to do with our whole heart

1. Trust God - Proverbs 3:5
2. Seek God - Jeremiah 29:13
3. Forgive Others - Matthew 18:35
4. Love and Serve God - Deuteronomy 10:12
5. Thank God - Psalms 138:1
6. Praise God - Psalms 103:1
7. Work as unto the Lord - Colossians 3:23

Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord…”

So I believe we’re to do everything we do with our whole heart.

What is our whole heart? It’s our decision, our actions and our emotions. All three need to agree.

Every one of those characteristics of Plastic Christianity are focussed on something other than our whole heart.

1. Superficiality see Mt. 15:8-9
2. Legalism see Ga. 5:4
3. Cultural Conformity seeRo. 12:2
4. Transactional Faith see Is. 29:13
5. Inauthenticity see 1Jn 1:6
6. Focus on Self not God see Ph. 2:3-4

When you’re doing everything with your whole heart, working as unto the Lord, you cannot live as a plastic christian.

Does it really matter?

We live in a culture that ignores the positive things the church does for society.

I grew up watching every Christian in almost every tv show be the murderer, adulterer or child molester. It was lazy writing. See a Christian in a murder mystery, you know who did the murder. As a church we are irrelevant to society… we have an incredible positive effect on society, but it’s unrecognized and unappreciated.

Most of the church doesn’t know the positive effect it has on society. It does little to no good to clammer to get a seat at the table.

But individuals, people God has intentionally placed in the day-to-day of your everyday, respond beautifully to the love of God they see you in you. Everyone needs to know they are loved. They won’t know they’re loved if they don’t trust your love is real. No more plastic christianity!

Let me give you an example that happened over 30 years ago.

Story of two guys I worked with at the hospital on the weekend…. They told me about their lives and it was heartbreaking. We had some amazing conversations over breakfast. They were both gay…

When I told them I was stopping the shift because I was headed back to school, they asked where I’d be going. I told them “Seminary” and they were shocked. “You’re a Christian? But I like you.” I told them, “I like you too, I really appreciated getting to know you!”

They were the first people in that situation to share their reality with me. I was the first Christian they knew who didn’t yell at them, disown them or beat them up.

Christians, we’ve got to do better.

More recent friendship…looking for micro aggressions. People hold to all kinds of pain and don’t know God loves them and have only been told and only experienced that Christians hate them.

Christians, we’ve got to do better.

It’s starts with being real before God before we can be real before people.

What is the greatest commandment?

Matthew 22:37-40 (NLT): Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

To live LOVED we love God. And we can love God and love others by remembering how we are loved by Him…

To live loved means that we’re loved…

and the fact we’re loved by God is most important.

John 16:27, Romans 5:8, 1 John 3:1; 4:10;19, Revelation 1:5

Because God’s love for us surpasses knowledge

Ephesians 3:17-19

and nothing can separate us from His love…

Romans 8:35-39

…remembering God is love and love comes from God

1 John 4:7-8;16

…and he disciplines those He loves.

Hebrews 12:6; Revelation 3:19

Understanding and experiencing God’s love for us …allows us to L - Leave pretence behind

How do you leave pretence behind?

That’s a great question, I’m so glad you asked.

You need to BE REAL before God.

How to BE REAL before God Tool

BE REAL

B - Be honest with your self and God 1 John 1:9  
E - Examine your humility James 4:10

R - Respond to Him in Worship John 4:24 
E - Engage trusting Him  Proverbs 3:5-6  
A - Access available accountability Galatians 6:2  
L - Leave the judging to Him Psalm 139:23-24

Let’s unpack…

B - Be honest with your self and God

1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Superficiality refers to a shallow approach to faith that prioritizes outward expressions, such as rituals or appearances, over genuine inner transformation and heartfelt devotion to God.

Matthew 15:8-9: "These people honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules."

Confession and repentance replaces superficiality.

We have His pardon so we can BE REAL before God

Romans 3:23-24 NLT For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.

Would God say I’m superficial in my walk with Him?

E - Examine your humility

James 4:10  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

Legalism is strict adherence to religious laws and rules, often at the expense of grace and mercy. Legalism emphasizes performance and compliance over a personal relationship with God, leading to judgmental attitudes.

Galatians 5:4: "You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace."

We have His propitiation so we can BE REAL before God. Propitiation means God’s justice is satisfied. It’s part of the aspect of grace we need to BE REAL before God.

Be honest with God. You can say to God, “Not that it’s true, but it feels that it’s true…”

Hebrews 4:16 NLT So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Would God say I’ve fallen away from grace?

R - Respond to Him in Worship

John 4:24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.

Cultural Conformity is tendency to align one's beliefs and practices with societal norms rather than biblical truths. This can result in compromising core values in order to fit in or be accepted by the surrounding culture.

1 John 2:15-17: "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."

Worship keeps us away from cultural conformity.

We have His presence so we can BE REAL before God

In His presence is fullness of joy. His presence transforms us. Worship cannot be the slow part of the song service, it needs to be our life.

Romans 12:1-2 NLT And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.  Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Would God say I’m conforming to the world or do I worship Him in Spirit and in Truth?

E - Engage trusting Him

Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Transactional Faith is mindset that views the relationship with God as a transaction, where blessings or favours are expected in return for religious actions or behaviours, rather than emphasizing trust, love, and surrender.

Isaiah 29:13: "The Lord says: ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.’"

Transactional faith is overcome when we trust God to be God and God to be good.

As we trust in Him, we have His peace, hope and joy so we can BE REAL before God.

Romans 15:13 (NLT) I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Would God say I’m trusting Him? Do I have peace and joy and hope?

A - Access available accountability

Galatians 6:2   Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Inauthenticity involves presenting a false image of spirituality that does not reflect true faith or integrity.

1 John 1:6: "If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth."

Inauthenticity is seen by everyone. It’s confronted by friends.

We have His people so we can BE REAL Before God.

Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.  And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Do I allow someone else to see me as I am?

L - Leave the judging to Him

Psalm 139:23-24   Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts. And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Focus on Self not God is emphasis on personal desires, happiness, or success over selflessness and service to others. This characteristic often leads to a self-centred approach to faith rather than a commitment to love and serve others.

Philippians 2:3-4: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

Don’t give God credit for the works of the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy. Don’t judge someone else’s servant.

Leaving the judging to God destroys our focus on self.

We can have His perspective so can be BE REAL before God

What do you love about them?

Romans 14:10 NLT So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.

Would God say I have selfish ambition or vain conceit?

How do you Leave Pretence behind? BE REAL before God.

BE REAL

B - Be honest with your self and God 1 John 1:9

Mt 15:8-9, Ro 3:23-24, His Pardon, Would God say I’m superficial in my walk with Him?

E - Examine your humility James 4:10

Ga 5:4, He 4:16, His PropitiationWould God say I’ve fallen away from grace?

R - Respond to Him in Worship John 4:24

1 Jo 2:15-17, Ro 12:1-2, His Presence, Would God say I’m conforming to the world or do I worship Him in Spirit and in Truth?

E - Engage trusting Him Proverbs 3:5-6

Is 29:13, Ro 15:13, His Peace, Hope and Joy Would God say I’m trusting Him? Do I have peace and joy and hope?

A - Access available accountability Galatians 6:2

1Jo 1:6, Heb. 10:24-25 His People Do I allow someone else to see me as I am?

L - Leave the judging to Him Psalm 139:23-24

Phi 2:3-4, Rom 14:10 His Perspective Would God say I have selfish ambition or vain conceit?

His pardon, propitiation, presence, peace hope and joy, people and perspective enables us to BE REAL before God.

Will you BE REAL before God?

2 Chronicles 7:14.  "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

It’s not the politicians or economy or society to change. It is on us to humble ourselves and pray and seek his face and turn from our wicked ways…

That’s what it takes to BE REAL before God?

Will you BE REAL before God today? Will it change the way you live this week?

Next steps to BE REAL with GOD

Check out the Live LOVED - Know and Enjoy Your Good Father Course

Discover the joy of a deeper relationship with God in "Live LOVED." This course explores the profound love of the Good Father through engaging discussions and reflective exercises. Learn to embrace your identity as His cherished child and experience God's love in your daily life. Join us on this journey to cultivate peace, purpose, and belonging, whether you're new to faith or seeking deeper understanding. Embrace the transformative love that awaits you!

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What is an Orphan Spirit? How You Can Experience God as Your Good Father Today

Discover the concept of an orphan spirit and learn how to experience God as your loving Father, transforming your spiritual journey with His grace and love.

In this message, we explore the concept of the orphan spirit and how it impacts our relationship with God. Learn how to experience God as your good, good Father and transform your spiritual journey with His love and grace. Discover practical steps to heal from an orphan spirit and embrace the fatherhood of God in your daily life. Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more insights on deepening your faith and understanding God's love.

Trevor H. Lund is the founder of Live LIGHT Academy at https://livelight.ca and the Creative Storyteller at https://revtrev.com. Subscribe and set notifications on YouTube at https://revtrev.com/tv and visit https://revtrev.com/radio to subscribe to his podcast wherever you listen.

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A word about the notes. Download the notes https://revtrev.link/free

Read Psalm 68:1-6

Someone left a comment on our church website.

“Do you have any further study of God as a Father? I have an orphan spirit from my past and a leader has said that to defeat it I need to study the fatherness of God.”

I thought it was a great question, and was surprised to learn I’ve never addressed it head on.

As I got into studying on it, I realized I had more than enough material for at least six messages and understood God was prompting me to change my plans for one of the courses I know He wants to do. It’s coming together amazingly and you’ll reap the benefit of it first.

The problem with the “Orphan Spirit”

The problem is the Bible never talks about the “orphan spirit” it’s a term we’ve coined more recently to describe a situation that many Christians find themselves in.

An "orphan spirit" is a term used in some Christian circles to describe a mindset or attitude where a person feels abandoned, rejected, or without a sense of belonging, particularly in a spiritual sense.

This can manifest in feelings of isolation, insecurity, and self-reliance rather than trusting in God's love and provision.

Fatherlessness

The biblical term that is often associated with the concept of an "orphan spirit" is "fatherless" and that feeling of fatherlessness that can be a better term to reflect the condition of being without a father, which can imply feelings of abandonment, lack of guidance, and emotional pain.

Let me highlight what I see in the Bible around fatherlessness. We are told…

8 things the Bible says God is to the Fatherless

God is…

1. ...a father to the fatherless Psalm 68:5

(NJKV) "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."

2. …a helper to the fatherless Psalm 10:14

(NKJV) "But You have seen, for You observe trouble and grief, To repay it by Your hand. The helpless commits himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless."

3. …a protector of the fatherless Jeremiah 49:11

(NKJV) "Leave your fatherless children; I will keep them alive; and let your widows trust in me."

4. …the one who shows mercy to the fatherless Hosea 14:3

(NKJV) "Assyria shall not save us, We will not ride on horses; Nor will we say anymore, 'To the work of our hands we will not rise.' For in You the fatherless finds mercy."

5. …the one who vindicates the fatherless Psalm 10:18

(NKJV) "To vindicate the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more."

6. …the one who executes justice for the fatherless Deuteronomy 10:18

(NKJV) "He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing."

7. …the one who relieves the fatherless Psalm 146:9

(NKJV): "The Lord watches over the strangers; He relieves the fatherless and widow; But the way of the wicked He turns upside down."

8. …the one who places the lonely in families Psalm 68:6

(NLT) God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

God is speaking about literal orphans, not just someone with an orphan spirit.

But it does show us his heart towards those who feel and act like an orphan, even when they are amazingly loved by Him.

God’s heart is for the fatherless. He is as a protector and provider for those who are fatherless, highlighting His desire to fill the void left by earthly fathers.

We see His heart towards them in how He wants us to show His heart to them:

11 Ways the Bible Says we are to treat the Widows and Fatherless

God wants us to…

1. …worship him by visiting the fatherless James 1:27

(NKJV): "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."

2.…care for the fatherless Proverbs 19:17

(NLT): If you help the poor, you are lending to the Lord—and he will repay you!

3. …defend the fatherless Psalm 82:3

(NKJV): "Defend the poor and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and needy."

4. ..never mistreat the fatherless Exodus 22:22-24

(NKJV) "You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry, and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.”

5. …never oppress the fatherless Zechariah 7:10

(NKJV): "Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor. Let none of you plan evil in his heart against his brother."

6. …never steal from the fatherless Isaiah 10:1-2

(NKJV): "Woe to those who decree unrighteous decrees, Who write misfortune, Which they have prescribed To rob the needy of justice, And to take what is right from the poor of My people, That widows may be their prey, And that they may rob the fatherless."

7. …never pervert justice against the fatherless Deuteronomy 24:17

(NKJV): "You shall not pervert justice due the stranger or the fatherless, nor take a widow's garment as a pledge."

8. …never steal the land of the fatherless Proverbs 23:10-11

(NKJV): "Do not remove the ancient landmark, Nor enter the fields of the fatherless; For their Redeemer is mighty; He will plead their cause against you."

9. …never do violence against the fatherless Jeremiah 22:3

(NKJV): "Thus says the Lord: 'Execute judgment and righteousness, and deliver the plundered out of the hand of the oppressor. Do no wrong and do no violence to the stranger, the fatherless, or the widow, nor shed innocent blood in this place.'"

10. …stand up for the fatherless Isaiah 1:17

(NKJV): "Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor; Defend the fatherless, Plead for the widow."

11. …speak for those who can’t speak for themselves Proverbs 31:8-9

(NLT) Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.

We are to show God’s heart to people who have God’s attention, even if they don’t feel they have His attention.

How do you know if you have an orphan spirit?

An "orphan spirit" is a made up term and with made up terms I feel we can do better. I’ve too often seen someone in a position of power tell someone “You’re operating from an orphan spirit” to put someone in their place who offers a different perspective that they disagree with.

I think the term “feeling of fatherlessness” is better because it’s a feeling, not a position.

It moves it from something I need to be cast out of me and I need to be delivered from to something I can confess and repent of —as I’m convicted and prompted and empowered by Holy Spirit.

It’s like I have responsibility but it’s Holy Spirit’s work in me.

There is a metanoia - a changing of our mind, a repentance that needs to take place. But the difference is how we think and feel and not on who we are.

Does “feeling Fatherless” make better sense?

Feeling Fatherless refers to a mindset or attitude that manifests a sense of abandonment, lack of belonging, and feelings of inadequacy. Individuals with this mindset may exhibit several characteristics. Here are some common traits along with biblical citations that encourage positive change in the emotion:

8 Characteristics of Feeling Fatherless and what to remember

1. Feelings of abandonment
2. Fear of Rejection
3. Insecure Identity
4. Striving for Approval
5. Isolation and Withdrawal
6. Difficulty Trusting Others
7. Bitterness and Resentment
8. . Lack of Purpose

1. Feelings of Abandonment

People with an orphan spirit often feel abandoned and alone, leading to deep emotional pain.

Remember: Psalm 27:10 (NKJV): "When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me."p

2. Fear of Rejection

A constant fear of being rejected can stem from feeling unloved or unaccepted.

Remember 1 John 4:18 (NLT): "Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love."

3. Insecure Identity

Feeling Fatherless can lead to uncertainty about one’s identity and worth.

Remember Galatians 4:7 (NLT): "Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir."

4. Striving for Approval

Individuals may strive excessively for approval and validation from others, feeling they must earn love.

Remember Ephesians 1:6 (NLT): "So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son."

5. Isolation and Withdrawal

A tendency to isolate themselves due to fear or past hurts can be prevalent.

Remember Hebrews 10:24-25 (NLT): "Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near."

6. Difficulty Trusting Others

A distrustful attitude towards others can be common, stemming from feelings of betrayal or hurt.

Remember Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT): "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

7. Bitterness and Resentment

An orphan spirit may lead to feelings of bitterness towards others, particularly authority figures.

Remember Hebrews 12:15 (NLT): "Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many."

8. Lack of Purpose

Individuals may struggle with a sense of purpose or direction in life, feeling lost or aimless.

Remember Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT): "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

The characteristics associated with an orphan spirit can create significant barriers to experiencing love, acceptance, and fulfillment in life. Recognizing these traits can be the first step toward healing and embracing one's identity as a beloved child of God.

Those are tips to help you see if you’re feeling fatherless and how you can start not working out of fatherlessness. Sometimes that’s all somebody needs.

You make the decision to stop thinking from lack and what you don’t have and start being thankful for all you have and those verses become anchors for you to think God’s thoughts about your situation. You confess your thinking not God’s thoughts, train your brain to think God’s thoughts.

And you’re good. You realize God is good, and is working all things together for the good of making you more and more like Jesus, so you’re good.

But others may have a bit of a journey to get to the place that you don’t think I’m doing you a disservice to you to make you think slapping a Bible verse on a feeling is all you need to change it.

The length of your journey has little to do with how long you’ve been a follower of Christ and more to do with the lies you believe.

(This is where this one message becomes at least five more. )

How do you Break the (Orphan Spirit) Feeling of Fatherlessness?

To break the feeling of fatherlessness you need to know you have a Father who loves you. It can’t be head knowledge alone, it needs to be worked into the day-to-day of your everyday.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you need to live LOVED

What does it mean to Live LOVED?

That’s a great question. Here’s what the Bible tells us about what living loved looks like.

If you’re not growing more and more like this, you may be hindered by feelings of fatherlessness…

To live loved means that we’re loved…

and the fact we’re loved by God is most important. John 16:27, Romans 5:8, 1 John 3:1; 4:10;19, Revelation 1:5
Because God’s love for us surpasses knowledge Ephesians 3:17-19
and nothing can separate us from His love…Romans 8:35-39
…remembering God is love and love comes from God 1 John 4:7-8;16
…and he disciplines those He loves. Hebrews 12:6; Revelation 3:19

To live loved means that we love God…

…with all our hearts, soul, mind and strength. Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27
…more than the earliest, dearest and nearest love. Matthew 10:37, Luke 14:25
…more than anything else in this world. Matthew 6:24,Luke 16:13, 1 John 2:15
and show it by obeying Jesus…John 14:15, John 14:21, John 14:23, John 15:10, 1 John 4:18-22, 1 John 2:3-5, 1 John 3:10 , 1 John 3:23, 1 John 5:2-3, 2 John 1:6
…helping his people Hebrews 6:10, 1 John 3:11,17-18
…caring for the least of these Matthew 25:32-40
and seeking His Kingdom in all things… Matthew 6:33
Knowing we’re promised a crown of life…. James 1:12

To live loved means we love in action and truth

Our motivation is love… 1 Corinthians 16:14, 2 Corinthians 5:14, Galatians 5:6, Colossians 3: 17
Our labour is prompted by love… 1 Thessalonians 1:3
We’re generous… 2 Corinthians 8:7-8
We speak the truth in love… Ephesians 4:15
We walk in love… Ephesians 5:1
We grow in love… Philippians 1:9, 2 Thessalonians 1:3, 1 Thessalonians 4:10
We keep ourselves in God’s love… Jude 1:21
We have peace and are thankful… Colossians 3:14-15
We find comfort in love… Philippians 2:1
Our love springs from hope… Colossians 1:5
We have compassion, kindness, humility and patience Colossians 3:12

To live loved means we love each other

We love each other as we love ourselves… Matthew 22:39, Mark 12:31, Luke 10:27, Galatians 5:14, James 2:8, 1 John 4:10-11; 2 John 1:5
Because He first loved us… 1 John 4:19-20
Our love is sincere, we’re devoted to one another with brotherly love and honour one another above ourselves… Romans 12:9-10
We share with God’s people who are in need and practice hospitality… Romans 12:13
We forgive… Colossians 3:13-14
We are patient, kind. We don’t envy, don’t boast and are not proud… 1 Corinthians 13:4
We are not rude, we’re not self-seeking, we’re not easily angered… 1 Corinthians 13:5
We’re unoffendable and keep no record of being wronged… 1 Corinthians 13:5
We always protect, always trust, always hope and always persevere. 1 Corinthians 13:7
We are united together John 17:23
And can’t be motivated by fear 1 John 4:18
Knowing love covers a multitude of sins 1 Peter 4:8
The only debt that remains outstanding is our debt to love one another…Romans 13:8

To live loved means we love even our enemies

We don’t take revenge… Romans 12:19
If our enemy is hungry we feed them or thirsty we give them something to drink…Romans 12:20
We bless those who curse us… Luke 6:28
We pray for those who persecute us…Matthew 5:44
If someone strikes one cheek, we turn the other to them…Matthew 5:39
We represent our Father who is love and sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous…Matthew 5:45

Are you living LOVED?

How can you live that way? How can you live more and more this way?

That’s a great question, I’m so glad you asked.

You can live knowing you are LOVED. We’ll use the word LOVED to help us remember.

How to Live LOVED Tool

L - Leave pretence behind
O - Operate out of who God says you are
V - Value revelation
E - Embark on having well-healed wounds
D - Draw ever-deeper into His love

L - Leave pretence behind

Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Are you honest with God? Do you regularly pour out your heart to him? Learn to do this, it will serve you well for now and all eternity.

Be honest with God. The most powerful tool to be honest with God is to use the phrase: “It’s not that it’s true, but it feels that it’s true that…”

Your emotions tell you what you actually believe. For example—Since the God of all hope fills us with all peace and joy as we trust in him… if I don’t have peace and joy, I know I’m not trusting him. So I can go to him and ask him “What am I not trusting you in or for?” He will show me. I’ve asked for wisdom, he gives it generously without finding fault. Then I agree with him—that’s confession, confession is agreeing with God. Repentance is changing my mind and turning around and going in the opposite direction. Then I have peace and joy again.

Tip:

Use the language of the Psalms. Psalms are emotional truth. They will stretch your theological comfort at times.

To live loved you need to stop pretending with God.

The good news is..

The surprise is for you, not Him. He won’t ever be surprised (Psalm 139:1-4) or disappointed in you (Romans 8:38-39).

Am I done with pretending with God?

O - Operate out of who God says you are

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

You do good works because of who God says you are, not to get his approval or others approval. You don’t do it for the show, or do it for the dough. You don’t do it for the worry or do it for the hurry. This is what Jesus told us in the sermon on the mount, you know the message where he revealed more and more and more about our good Father.

Tip:

Go to https://revtrev.com/realme and print off your personalized identity in Christ. Print it off and start memorizing or reminding yourself of it.

The good news is…

He empowers you to accomplish every good work prompted by faith (2 Thessalonians 1:11).

Am I living out who God says I am?

V - Value revelation

Romans 8:15-17 "The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ."

Since you’ve received him and believed in his name, you have the right to be a child of God (John 1:12). Since you are led by the Spirit you show you are a child of God (Romans 8:14-16) Since you are in Christ through faith, you are a child of God (Galatians 3:26-27). You have been chosen before creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight (Ephesians 1:4-5) as all his children have. See what great love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God, and that is what we are (1 John 3:1).

That’s our theological understanding. How do we move it from thought to practice?

Tip: Be grateful for what’s been revealed to you, ask Holy Spirit to teach you how to make that make a difference in your life.

The good news is…

Holy Spirit does the work of transformation. Our role is to be in the Book.

Do I value the revelation of His love I have right now?

E - Embark on having well-healed wounds

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

The first time I heard this phrase it came out of my mouth as a word of knowledge. I was teaching at a church in Calgary on how to fast from negativity. I said something like “Some of you take pride in your wounds and you need to know God takes pleasure in your well-healed wounds.” Afterwords…

When Jesus showed his disciples his nail-scarred hands and offered to show them his wounded side, he was showing them well healed wounds.

Well healed wounds are what he wants for us.

Many have had cruel, abusive or absent fathers, so how can they relate to the God of the universes using the same name as someone who has hurt them?

It’s only when you have well-healed wounds that you can.

Tip:

It could take:
- counselling,
- community,
- forgiveness,
- living unoffended at God.

Miracles can happen, but often God uses process. If you’ve been wounded in community, you need to be healed in community.

The good news is…

He works all things together to make us more and more like Jesus. He will finish the good work He’s started in you.

Are my wounds healing well?

D - Draw ever-deeper into His love

Ephesians 3:14-19 (NIVUK) For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Tip:

We want to learn to value God’s opinion more than our own.

Since he rejoices to see the work begin in us to recognize His love for us and alignment of our lives to live loved, it’s ok if we’re not a finished product.

There may be days we don’t live like Jesus told us to live. He reminds us on the sermon on the mount that we have a good Father in heaven in…

The good news is…

Your Father...
...sees what is done in secret and will reward you
...knows what you need
...sees what is done in secret and will reward you
... forgives you
...sees what is done in secret and will reward you
... feeds and takes care of the needs...
... knows that you need them.
Your Father is perfect.

Do I have a growing revelation of God’s incomprehensible love?

How can you better understand God as Father?

Learn to Live LOVED

L - Leave pretence behind Psalm 62:8 Am I done with pretending with God?
O - Operate out of who God says you are Ephesians 2:10 Am I living out who God says I am?
V - Value ongoing revelation Romans 8:15-17 Do I value the revelation of His love I have right now?
E - Embark on having well-healed wounds Psalm 147:3 Are my wounds healing well?
D - Draw ever-deeper into His love Ephesians 3:14-19 Do I have a growing revelation of God’s incomprehensible love?

Conclusion

There is no biblical term called the Orphan Spirit. There is a position that lead to disadvantage called fatherlessness that God shows his heart for and instructs us to care for.

Feeling Fatherless -what some people call the orphan spirit- is broken through the ever-revealing, never fully understanding revelation of the love of God and responding to His love by living LOVED.

My prayer for you today is Paul’s prayer for the church in Ephesus.

Ephesians 1:17-21, 3:16-19 (NIVUK)

May the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I speak against any feelings of fatherlessness and call out for wounds to be well-healed. I speak peace to storms and faith where doubts assail. I speak life. I speak hope. I speak joy…

You are loved. Live LOVED.

Podcasts, Live Cast and Training on knowing God

• Enjoying God as Father https://revtrev.com/living-light/enjoying-god-as-father/
• How to Know God as your Good, Good Father https://revtrev.com/living-light/how-to-know-god-as-your-good-good-father/
• God is always with us, Will I be with Him? https://revtrev.com/living-light/god-is-always-with-us-will-i-be-with-him/
• It’s God’s will to Heal https://revtrev.com/livecasts/its-gods-will-to-heal/
• How I Hear the Father Speak to me https://revtrev.com/live-intentional/how-i-hear-the-father-speak-to-me/
• I Trust God as My Good Father https://revtrev.com/livecasts/negativity-fast-reflection-day-34-i-trust-my-good-father/
• How to be at peace with God in the day to day of everyday https://revtrev.com/living-light/how-to-be-at-peace-with-god-in-the-day-to-day-of-everyday/
• Can my Weary Soul Rejoice Again? https://revtrev.com/livecasts/can-my-weary-soul-rejoice-again/
• How to understand and enjoy the Gifts God has for your Today https://revtrev.com/message/how-to-understand-and-enjoy-the-gifts-god-has-for-you-today/
• May God Produce in you.. https://revtrev.com/livecasts/blessing-day-21-livecast-may-god-produce-in-you/
• How to Know and Experience More of our Triune God https://revtrev.com/living-light/trinity-essential/
• Do you live out of your God-Created Identity? https://revtrev.com/manifesto/live-out-your-god-created-identity/
• How to Use God’s Gifts for One Another https://revtrev.com/living-light/how-to-use-gods-gifts-for-one-another/
• 10 Things God Can’t Do https://revtrev.com/live-hopeful/ten-things-god-cant-do/
• How to be a person after God’s Own Heart https://revtrev.com/living-light/how-to-be-a-person-after-gods-own-heart/
• What does it mean to live loved? https://revtrev.com/livecasts/what-does-it-mean-to-live-loved/
• I am loved. I live loved. https://revtrev.com/podcast/day-9-i-am-loved-i-live-loved-reflection-podcast/
• Do you want to know how to live loved radically? https://revtrev.com/manifesto/live-loved-radically/
• I love because I am first loved. https://revtrev.com/livecasts/day-15-i-love-because-i-am-first-loved-reflection-livecast/
• Live Loved https://revtrev.com/live-loved/live-loved/
• I am loved with an everlasting love https://revtrev.com/livecasts/day-26-i-am-loved-with-an-everlasting-love-reflection-livecast/
• 3 tips to live unoffended at God https://revtrev.com/living-light/negativity-fast-tips-3-tips-to-live-unoffended-at-god/
• Should I be Hungry for God? https://revtrev.com/live-intentional/should-i-be-hungry-for-god/
• How I hear the Father Speak https://revtrev.com/live-today/how-i-hear-the-father-speak/
• Does God want Good For Me? https://revtrev.com/live-loved/does-god-want-good-for-me/
• How does God Discipline Us? https://revtrev.com/live-light/how-does-god-discipline-us/
• Move Forward Following the Ancient Paths https://revtrev.com/living-light/move-forward-following-the-ancient-paths/
• Seek the Lord when you don’t know what to do https://revtrev.com/living-light/seek-the-lord-when-you-dont-know-what-to-do/
• How to build up strongholds that are good and necessary https://revtrev.com/living-light/how-to-build-up-strongholds-that-are-good-and-necessary/
• Why everyone needs to know and practice the rhythm of remembering https://revtrev.com/living-light/why-everyone-needs-and-practice-the-rhythm-of-remembering/
• 16 Reasons You Can Trust in the Lord with All Your Heart https://revtrev.com/living-light/16-reasons-you-can-trust-in-the-lord-with-all-your-heart/
• How to grow stronger when life seems impossible https://revtrev.com/livecasts/how-to-grow-stronger-when-life-seems-impossible/
• Seek the Lord when No One is watching https://revtrev.com/message/seek-the-lord-when-no-one-is-watching/
• How to have Faith for the Long Haul https://revtrev.com/livecasts/how-to-have-faith-for-the-long-haul/
• Shattering the 7 Myths that Lead to Complacency https://revtrev.com/living-light/shattering-the-7-myths-that-lead-to-complacency/
• Biblical Patience and why we need to have it https://revtrev.com/living-light/patience-biblical-patience-today/
• How to be a trustable person https://revtrev.com/living-light/how-to-be-a-trustable-person/
• 3 Thoughts to help you get through tough times https://revtrev.com/living-light/3-thoughts-to-help-you-get-through-tough-times/

Read more at >>> http://revtrev.com/living-light/how-to-know-god-as-father/

Next steps to BE REAL with GOD

Check out the Live LOVED - Know and Enjoy Your Good Father Course

Discover the joy of a deeper relationship with God in "Live LOVED." This course explores the profound love of the Good Father through engaging discussions and reflective exercises. Learn to embrace your identity as His cherished child and experience God's love in your daily life. Join us on this journey to cultivate peace, purpose, and belonging, whether you're new to faith or seeking deeper understanding. Embrace the transformative love that awaits you!

http://revtrev.link/LiveLOVED

The Only Way to Feel Like You’ve Forgiven

How can you feel like you’ve forgiven? Have you ever decided to forgive but didn’t feel like you really forgave? You might have been able to choose to forgive and even bless those who cursed you, but what do your feelings tell you about what you really believe that you've done? Jesus told us to forgive with our whole heart. Learn what that means and how you easily know when you’ve forgiven with your whole heart.

In this message, we explore the only way to truly feel like you have forgiven. Learn practical tips and insights on how to let go of past hurts and move forward with inner peace. Whether you're struggling with personal relationships or seeking emotional healing, this guide will help you navigate the journey of forgiveness. Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more content on personal growth and mental health.

Trevor H. Lund is the founder of Live LIGHT Academy at https://livelight.ca/ and the Chief Storyteller at https://revtrev.com He helps you give thanks with your whole heart https://revtrev.link/heart Check out https://revtrev.com/tv for past videos and live casts and https://revtrev.com/radio to subscribe to his podcast wherever you listen.

Listen to The Only Way to Feel Like You’ve Forgiven

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Read the transcript of The Only Way to Feel Like You’ve Forgiven

I'm praising God because I have not been loopy for the whole last two weeks. I am knocking stuff out of the park, and it's just awesome. Yes, I'm happy. It's one thing to praise God in the middle of the storm, and it's another thing to praise God simply because you want to. It’s nice to be in that place where it’s easy to praise God.

I want to pray for all of you that if you're not in that place, choose to praise God now. But if you are in that place, that's where we all want to be—walking with God in the garden in the cool of the day. It becomes so easy to sing His praises and give Him thanks because He's showing us all the cool things around us. Like, “Oh, isn’t that cool? It’s snowing!” Excellent! Don’t be surprised; it’s November. Last week, Pastor Shawn taught on unity, and one of the tools that God gives us for unity is forgiveness.

Have you decided to forgive, but not feel like you’ve forgiven?

Have you ever had someone or a situation where you thought you had forgiven, but it didn’t feel like you had? If you haven’t, wait; it will come sometime in your life. You’ve made that choice to forgive. You really have. Yet, it’s tough to think about it. You want to avoid that person because it is possible to feel like you've forgiven. It really is. That’s what we’re going to talk about today. I’m going to pray now, and then we’ll get into the scripture.

Heavenly Father, I want to thank You for being God. Thank You for Your greatness and thank You, Lord God, for turning all things together for good. Thank You, Lord God, that even what the enemy meant for evil, You will turn around for good. I thank You, Lord God, that lives are being changed today. I thank You, Lord God, that souls are being touched today. And Lord, we commit this all into Your holy and precious name. Amen.

Matthew 18 - Jesus talks about Forgiveness

I'm going to read a little bit more just to give you context in Matthew 18 because it’s something we very rarely teach on, but it’s in the book and we need to know it. Starting at verse 15 of Matthew 18: "If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he won't listen, take one or two more with you so that by the testimony of two or three, every fact may be established. If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn't pay attention to even the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector.

I assure you, whatever you bind on earth has already been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth is already loosed in heaven. Again, I assure you, if two or three of you agree about any matter that you pray for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among you."

Let’s Contine...

Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Seven? Is it as many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I tell you, not as many as seven," but "seventy times seven." For this reason, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began to settle accounts, the one who owed 10,000 talents was brought before him. Since he had no way to pay it back, his master commanded that he, his wife, his children, and everything be sold to pay off the debt. At this, the slave fell face down before him and said, "Be patient with me and I will pay you everything."

Then the master of that slave had compassion and released him and forgave him the loan. But the slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him 100 denarii.

Forgiveness is costly

Let’s just pause here. A denarius was one day's wages. So 100 denarii was about a third of your salary for the year—this was not an insignificant amount. Some translations say a few thousand dollars; however, in our economy, it doesn’t matter—but it was a significant amount.

He grabbed him and started choking him and said, "Pay me what you owe!"

At this, his fellow slave fell down and began begging, "Be patient with me, and I will pay you back." He wasn’t willing; on the contrary, he went and threw him in prison until he could pay what he was owed. When the other slaves saw what had taken place, they were deeply distressed and went and reported to their master everything that had happened. Then after he had summoned him, his master said to him, "You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Shouldn't you also have had mercy on your fellow slave as I had mercy on you?"

His master got angry and handed him over to the jailers until he could pay everything that was owed. So my heavenly Father will do to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from his heart.

Didn’t know about forgiving with your whole heart

I didn’t know what it meant to forgive with your whole heart until I showed a friend of mine this portion of scripture. I ran into him at church one day; he had a big lump on his head. I asked him what happened, and he hesitantly told me that he was walking down the stairs when a demon tripped him and he fell down the stairs. I was intrigued—what a good story! I found out he had been seeing demons in his house; this was the first time one of them had done something harmful, but he needed help. Could I come help? Sure! No problem!

So Karen and I went over to their house and prayed in the places where he’d seen the demons. It was clear—they were there because they thought they had a legal right to be there. So we went through some things to shut those doors for them. He thought that was a good idea.

Using Steps in Freedom in Christ

We used Neil T. Anderson's steps in "Freedom in Christ." A big part of what Neil does is walk through forgiveness. We got to the point where we normally ask people: Is there anyone you need to forgive? Most people think about it for a while—but not this guy! Right away he said his wife and father without even thinking!

I had to make sure he didn’t mean his wife who was sitting next to him on the couch. No! It was his first wife he was talking about! Okay—that's great! Without finding out more of the story, I decided my wife would stand in for his wife and ask for forgiveness so he could forgive her.

Karen tried to object at that point, saying he should forgive his father first. I said, “Yeah, just do it this way.” You’ve got to listen to your wife—especially if she’s prophetic! Oh my goodness! In about two minutes, I had to step in front of Karen because this guy looked like he was going to jump across the coffee table and strangle her!

I said, "Okay! Time out! Let’s hear the rest of this story; something else is going on here.” What had actually happened was this guy and his wife were part of a Christian organization together. His father had an affair with somebody else in that organization, and a leader in that organization told him: "You do not forgive them until they come and ask for forgiveness." And I thought—oh! Here it is! Matthew!

Let’s read Matthew. I got to the point where it says they’ll be handed over to the jailers—that's what God has done to you! The tormentors—the version I was using at the time called them tormentors—are present because of your unforgiveness.

Should have listened to my wife

Karen piped up again: “He’s not going to be able to trust the Father to forgive his wife unless he forgives his father first.” Brilliant woman—I’m hearing you! Yeah—that makes sense! So I stood in the place of his father and asked for forgiveness while blessing him as a father; then Karen stepped forward as well so he could forgive his father.

It wasn’t easy—it was tough—but eventually he worked through it; it wasn’t as violent as before but he forgave his first wife too. In all the time we knew him afterward, he never saw demons again in his house.

Forgiveness is abostulely critical

Forgiveness is absolutely critical for us. Where are we at? At that time, I didn’t know what it meant to forgive with your whole heart; if I had known—I think we could have helped him a lot more.

What I've learned since is that the Hebrew understanding of heart is that it is not only the seat of our emotions but also the seat of our decisions and actions. I had known all along—or learned—that sometimes people can make the decision to forgive; sometimes we make that decision and feel forgiveness—we feel like we’ve forgiven; we have that peace—we’re done.

Other people can make the choice to forgive but if they don’t bless that person—either verbally or in some safe way—they may never feel like they’ve forgiven them. And then there are others who can make the choice and feel like they’ve forgiven—or not make the choice but still bless someone—and yet never feel like they’ve forgiven.

And I'm not even saying it's only people sometimes—it can be situations we face too! Many times I make a choice and feel forgiveness; other times I have to make that choice and then bless someone before I feel forgiveness; then there are times when I have some junk I need to work through before feeling forgiveness—but eventually I do.

Forgiving with your whole heart

I've learned how to feel forgiveness for every offense. I learned about forgiveness when I was a young pastor—and by young I mean too young—I can't believe what God entrusted to me when I was that young!

One lady came to our church after seeing a sign we put up; whoever put up that sign used pink letters—pink was her favorite color—so she felt God was telling her to come here! Her husband had an affair; he wasn’t a Christian; she found out about it and confronted him—and led him to Christ!

Now she was trying to find a church for him because she didn’t want anything more to do with him—basically in her mind she believed God had forgiven him for his sins—so if she let him off the hook then he would get off scot-free!

We met many times over weeks; finally in one of our last meetings I had a word of knowledge—I knew this was not a blanket statement for everyone—but it was certain for her! I told her if she didn’t choose to forgive her husband within six months she would not believe God existed!

Because when Jesus taught us how to pray He said: “Forgive us our sins as we forgive others.” If we don’t do that—He can't forgive us—and then separation occurs! She was blown away by this; she said she couldn’t believe it—God is the only thing getting her through this—how could she ever not believe God existed?

Another story on feeling like you’ve forgiven

Around that time another lady came into church wearing dark glasses and a hoodie pulled over her head; when she sat in my office she positioned herself against the wall near the window so there would be no line of sight from outside.

She showed me a button she had—that would summon police within two minutes—but her husband was a sharpshooter; she figured he told her he would shoot her from a distance! She was an abused and fragile person. And me—a young pastor—I said: “You know—you’ve got to forgive them.”

Her eyes got big: “I can’t live with them anymore!” “No!” I exclaimed. “Forgiveness and trust are two separate things! Forgiveness is between you and God; trust must be earned! He has lost that right!”

You do not put yourself in harm's way in order for someone else to regain trust—do not do that!

I don’t remember much after that but she made that decision eventually—to forgive—and something changed!

Six months after she had forgiven

Six months later while preaching at church this beautiful lady came in and sat at the back with a huge smile on her face—it was strange—people don’t smile like that for no reason!

Afterward I approached her because I needed to find out why she was smiling so much! About six months after our encounter—I went up alongside her—she jumped up and hugged me! Literally—I said: “Nice to meet you! Have you met my wife?” because I had no idea who she was!

Once she broke the embrace she told me who she was—I couldn’t believe it—she was the same woman who’d been covered up in dark glasses before! She said she was so happy because she testified against her husband—he is going to jail for a long time!

She is now in witness protection—leaving today—but just had come by today because she wanted me to know that when she chose to forgive everything changed.

The ongoing story about forgiveness caught my eye

Then something caught my attention—I turned around and saw the husband of the first woman; he had been attending church this whole time—growing in grace and knowledge of God—part of a care group—and meeting weekly with me!

Before that service he had told me his wife doesn’t believe in God anymore—but he’s going to keep loving her until she does again! Both stories are horrific—but both have happy endings!

Another story about feeling like you’ve forgiven

Another young woman came asking for advice—she wasn’t married but told me she was pregnant; she said she had a friend over for supper who slipped something into her drink—and when she woke up she realized she’d been raped—and now she was pregnant!

She asked if God would forgive her if she had an abortion—to get rid of this child! “You’re asking the wrong question,” I said; “For your sake—and your child’s sake—you need to ask: Can I forgive him?”

I talked with her about forgiveness; she chose forgiveness—but nothing changed right away! Then I asked: “Can you bless him in Jesus’ name? Can you bless whatever goodness he may find? That God would bless him?”

It wasn't an easy prayer—but once done—a big smile came over her face as she said: “I’m going to keep my baby!”

Some time later she sent me a letter with a photograph enclosed—she moved back with her mom—and wrote: “Thank you so much for helping me forgive because this baby is God's blessing!”

With her it wasn’t just making a choice—it required action too!

Follow up on other story about feeling like you’ve forgiven

I should tell you how things ended with that first lady and her husband—we ran into them years later—they invited us over because they wanted us to meet their son!

She eventually chose forgiveness—and when we sat down together it was really strange; she told me: “Trevor—I think you were a little harsh with me back then.”

I replied: “I think you were a little stubborn!”

But we’re still friends—we haven’t seen them in a while.

What feeling forgiveness means to us

Oh my goodness—horrific things can happen—and sometimes people feel they’ve forgiven—but then someone forgets to call me—and suddenly I'm angry again—even though I say: “Okay God—I forgive them,” deep down I'm still upset with them!

It seems feeling forgiven has less to do with harm caused by offense—and more about lies we don’t allow Holy Spirit to heal with truth!

Let me say that again: feeling like we've forgiven has less do with harm from offense—and more about lies we let Holy Spirit heal with truth!

Our heart is where our decisions lie—as well as our actions and emotions—when we forgive—it’s indeed a decision!

Lies we can believe to keep us from forgiving

Sometimes those lies can simply be replaced by truth—let me give some examples:

The lie is: The offender won't pay if I forgive.

• The truth is: Matthew 18:25 states: “So my heavenly Father will also do if you don't forgive your brother from your heart.” If we don’t forgive others—God can’t forgive us—it hurts us!

Another lie might be: "I don't trust God; I won’t let them off the hook."

• The truth is Romans 12:19: "Dear friends never take revenge; leave righteous anger up to God." For scripture says: "I will take revenge; I will pay them back," says the Lord.

Another lie could be: "I won’t forgive unless they ask for forgiveness."

• The truth is Jesus taught us how we should pray: “Forgive us our sins as we have forgiven those who sin against us.”

Another lie might sound like: "I'm not hurting anyone if I don’t forgive."

• Oh did you catch that? In the story read earlier—the king threw the servant in jail until he could pay back all owed—does this make sense?

It hurts everyone if we don’t forgive

It only makes sense if you understand it affects family & friends who must raise money/work hard so he can be released!

Who you don’t forgive affects me! Who I don’t forgive affects you! It matters—it’s not just between me & God—it impacts all of us & generations following!

We have got to forgive!

Another lie could be: "I won’t forgive until I feel like it."

• The truth is Luke 6:45: "A good person produces good things from their heart's treasury while an evil person produces evil things from theirs." What flows out from our heart reveals our true beliefs!

That’s key here—the key is our emotions reveal what we truly believe!

Our emotions tell us what we truly believe

Now here’s good news—some listening now or watching later have heard these verses echoed—and this truth replaces lies—and healing occurs!

Holy Spirit has infused truth allowing some of you say: “I forgive so-and-so for such-and-such” and suddenly feel forgiven—all at once—it’s awesome!

For some situations—that may be enough aligning our whole heart—but our heart also serves as seat of action—which is why prayers spoken as blessings align ourselves with God's heart too.

If safe—we can express appreciation or serve in ways appreciated by those we've hurt—doing this sends raindrops on both righteous & unrighteous alike—as your good Father does for all.

We don’t do these acts solely for their sake—we do them for ours when loving those who’ve wronged us—a blessing shared brings healing!

When doing this—you can say now: “God—I bless so-and-so in Jesus’ name; bless prosperity upon them; bless health unto them!”

What they meant for evil—you’re turning around for good—that's all needed—a simple blessing spoken over them could suffice!

That action might replace lies—with truth allowing Holy Spirit healing—that heart serves as seat of decisions/actions/emotions—we've established.

I've developed tools aiding this process—I’ve used them personally many times—the thing...

Okay—I’m pretty good with most people! However—the thing needing Holy Spirit's help most occurs when someone hurts someone dear—and I'm powerless—instead go before God saying: “What lie am I believing?”

Is it I'm not enough? Is my belief causing doubt He'll take care? What lie?

As I approach Holy Spirit—He reveals what needs healing allowing me eventually feeling I've forgiven.

Use GRACE to feel like you’ve forgiven

The tool is called GRACE—I intentionally use word grace—I won’t tell why—but think you'll figure it out:

G - Get in touch with emotions.
R - Remember feelings associated with past similar events.
A - Accept what feelings reveal.
C - Center upon truth.
E - Examine whether feelings have changed.

That’s all okay? What does this mean?

So G means getting familiarized with emotions—what am I feeling? What feelings arise recalling offense against me? If able name them great! If not ask Lord revealing deeper truths.

R means exploring previous times felt similarly—why does prior event resonate? What belief surfaces?

A means accepting feelings even if wrong—they may feel true—it's not real God left forsaken—you may feel abandoned but His plans prosper—not harm! Whatever Holy Spirit reveals there...

C means centering upon truth—Holy Spirit show actual events occurring—you thought alone when really He carried & led ahead—you may see truth shatter lies held tightly!

Finally E means examining feelings after truth revealed—what feels different now having processed?

So if previously felt pressure recalling offense against self? Now consider why can't feel like I’ve forgiven?

Explore honest thoughts toward individual—is there still pain lingering? If feeling forgiving great—you’re done but if not explore further queries surrounding feelings?

Thank Him revealing truths—is there confession/repentance necessary?

This serves as form aiding feelings toward forgiveness.

Don’t “Forgive God” instead Live unoffended at Him

If needing God’s forgiveness isn’t mentioned specifically within text remember—you needn’t live offended at Him either!

How do live without offense? Know need living unoffended—but feeling offended isn’t reality—use GRACE—to navigate memory needing trust restored or goodness revealed.

If asking forgiveness get heart right first exploring why acted out hurting others using grace tool discovering triggers behind behavior leading needing repentance.

In A Season When People Take Offence

We’re currently amidst seasons where everyone takes offense—a season trying link offense as harm.

If offended thus harmed necessitating restitution—that’s completely wrong—I offend folks constantly while speaking truth yet they desire apologies when holding onto offenses themselves!

Get over yourselves folks—we cannot abide these lies any longer!

But listen—the darker nights bring brighter lights shining forth—we must shine brightly showing God's love amidst unforgiveness held captive within hearts unable functioning freely!

Keep short accounts choosing forgiveness actively blessing those wronging—you’ll find healing follows discovering God's grace anew each day!

Jesus stated—you’ll know truth setting free! Believe Jesus truth revealed through knowing Him ultimately leads toward healing received abundantly!

Conclusion

Will stand together today? In closing—

If Holy Spirit spoke directly today or later viewing online contact us—we’ll help navigate process needed toward freedom achieved together!

If present here today prompted by Holy Spirit remember not leaving without allowing His healing grace flow freely within life!

We can chat distant or closer depending comfort level—not broadcasted ensuring trust remains intact.

Remember don’t leave without seeking freedom today—we were created unto freedom!

Prayer

So Heavenly Father—I speak freedom unto every heart present today—I release every lie believed preventing healing occurring because unhealed truths remain hidden from view within hearts unaware needing restoration sought after fully expressed unconditionally received through grace presented daily before followers seeking forgiveness offered freely without conditions attached whatsoever—

Thank You Lord—you’ve done great work within us promising completion toward wholeness achieved continually flourishing abundantly radiating through lives touched around us daily revealing hope restored life ignited within darkest corners existing within hearts seeking light shining bright throughout our lives illuminating paths walked forward boldly embracing future full grace received freely given unconditionally poured forth liberally upon lives surrounding—

You’re too many bound by offense today—we speak directly spirit offenses go forth name Jesus releasing every burden held captive causing divisions amongst brethren hindering growth experienced together walking unity reflecting light shining brightly illuminating paths forward leading toward hope renewed life restored fully embracing grace received freely given unconditionally welcomed extended unto others reflecting kindness displayed freely encountered daily—

May know goodness Lord reign fully alive land living experiencing fullness joy dwelling eternal presence continually experienced leading forth life abundantly lived out each day reflecting hope restored life continually experienced walking alongside those journeying homeward through presence Holy Spirit guiding hearts navigating trials faced while ensuring peace reigns supremely within hearts gathered here today united together purpose serving faithfully sharing love extending grace unto others reflecting kindness displayed graciously throughout lives touched forevermore—

In name Jesus praying boldly believing receiving answers swiftly provided according perfect will glorifying Father ultimately bringing honor glory unto Him forevermore—

Amen! Amen! You may be seated.